PsycHacks
PsycHacks
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The standoff between men and women: how to sell a burning house
The contemporary sexual marketplace is witnessing a Mexican standoff between men and women. Women want men to "do better," and men want women to be reasonable. Both sides are increasingly comfortable remaining single until their demands are met. In this episode, I discuss the way out of this standoff by examining how the power differential between men and women changes as a function of time. If your house is on fire, then you need to be a motivated seller.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#dating #men #women
Переглядів: 64 240

Відео

Never meet halfway: understanding what a date is
Переглядів 103 тис.14 годин тому
My definition of a date is that it's connection plus sexual possibility. You need both for a date to be a date. Otherwise, you're dealing with a hookup (on the one hand) or an interview (on the other). And this is why the date is God's perfect creation: when it does well, both parties get what they want. As a result, it's never a good idea to meet halfway on a date, as it severely limits the lo...
Women have to allow themselves to be used: be useful or be ornamental
Переглядів 94 тис.23 години тому
Given the state of modern courtship, in which sex precedes commitment, many women are concerned about "being used" in the dating process. Unfortunately, there is no way around this. Just like most men have to expose themselves to potentially being used for their resources to secure a relationship, most women have to allow themselves to run the risk of being used sexually to get the same. The al...
Mission accomplished: my commitment has been fulfilled
Переглядів 51 тис.День тому
Mission accomplished: my commitment has been fulfilled
Good transactions are invisible: no one notices when it's working
Переглядів 70 тис.14 днів тому
Good transactions are invisible: no one notices when it's working
Many women are construction workers: it's a young person's job
Переглядів 81 тис.14 днів тому
Many women are construction workers: it's a young person's job
Romance is a game of hide-and-seek: remembering that you're already whole
Переглядів 78 тис.21 день тому
Romance is a game of hide-and-seek: remembering that you're already whole
How to deal with perfectionism: exposing its inner workings
Переглядів 37 тис.21 день тому
How to deal with perfectionism: exposing its inner workings
How women make it difficult to love them: make it easy to get what you want
Переглядів 147 тис.28 днів тому
How women make it difficult to love them: make it easy to get what you want
Strike when the iron is cold: the importance of waiting for your moment
Переглядів 94 тис.Місяць тому
Strike when the iron is cold: the importance of waiting for your moment
Never punish people for doing what you want: the power of shaping
Переглядів 72 тис.Місяць тому
Never punish people for doing what you want: the power of shaping
Every woman is two women: exploring the wild west
Переглядів 110 тис.Місяць тому
Every woman is two women: exploring the wild west
Being famous is like being a woman: musings on a haircut
Переглядів 101 тис.Місяць тому
Being famous is like being a woman: musings on a haircut
The court does not deal in trifles: most things aren't worth your time
Переглядів 77 тис.Місяць тому
The court does not deal in trifles: most things aren't worth your time
How to drop a handkerchief: women initiate relationships
Переглядів 82 тис.Місяць тому
How to drop a handkerchief: women initiate relationships
The business of suffering: every solution needs a problem
Переглядів 61 тис.Місяць тому
The business of suffering: every solution needs a problem
The source of the problem: what people fail to understand about mental illness
Переглядів 85 тис.Місяць тому
The source of the problem: what people fail to understand about mental illness
The gift of nothingness: seeing the everyday miracle
Переглядів 63 тис.Місяць тому
The gift of nothingness: seeing the everyday miracle
Limitations make you better: figure out your batman rules
Переглядів 105 тис.2 місяці тому
Limitations make you better: figure out your batman rules
The trap of understanding: considerations are concessions
Переглядів 94 тис.2 місяці тому
The trap of understanding: considerations are concessions
Why men get married: it's not about you
Переглядів 192 тис.2 місяці тому
Why men get married: it's not about you
Women over 30: the game isn't over yet
Переглядів 123 тис.2 місяці тому
Women over 30: the game isn't over yet
The marriage ultimatum: it's not personal, just business
Переглядів 117 тис.2 місяці тому
The marriage ultimatum: it's not personal, just business
How to not be part of the problem: your anger isn't helping
Переглядів 60 тис.2 місяці тому
How to not be part of the problem: your anger isn't helping
You don't need money to get women: the three things that work
Переглядів 238 тис.2 місяці тому
You don't need money to get women: the three things that work
Responding to my female critics: the importance of intentional sexuality
Переглядів 103 тис.2 місяці тому
Responding to my female critics: the importance of intentional sexuality
How to be confident without success: be your own prophet
Переглядів 138 тис.3 місяці тому
How to be confident without success: be your own prophet
Women do the right things with the wrong men: the good times-to-hassle ratio
Переглядів 108 тис.3 місяці тому
Women do the right things with the wrong men: the good times-to-hassle ratio
Men do the right things with the wrong women: the importance of a system
Переглядів 156 тис.3 місяці тому
Men do the right things with the wrong women: the importance of a system
The price of living your own life: lack of understanding is a test of your character
Переглядів 201 тис.3 місяці тому
The price of living your own life: lack of understanding is a test of your character

КОМЕНТАРІ

  • @bobclark6991
    @bobclark6991 4 години тому

    Nope. Gonna talk to wminem just like i always do. Don't care.

  • @ahussain2790
    @ahussain2790 4 години тому

    I said no to a guy who hasn’t even approached me but started drama. He harassed, stalked, hacked my mobile, intruded in every aspect of my life, ruined every relationship , asked people to be nasty with me, harassed me in court and told everyone not to talk to me, for 10 years. Mind you, he passed his time wasting time ruining my life but he had never texted, called or met me. He over reacted to my rejection and he passed his time being a dick.

  • @valc6954
    @valc6954 4 години тому

    @psychacks what editing software do you use, sir? btw great content.

  • @64maxpower
    @64maxpower 5 годин тому

    Youre the best!

  • @lifewithmargot
    @lifewithmargot 5 годин тому

    This was awesome insight!

  • @trinabaker3186
    @trinabaker3186 5 годин тому

    The unscrupulous man tries to take something, his home, from a man, ... something very valuable from a man ... by ruining it ... just so he can have it. Just like some men would try to take from a woman ... and make her feel cheap ... just so they can have it. Just build your own house ... with the quality woman you can afford.

  • @willleslie2745
    @willleslie2745 5 годин тому

    I disagree. Living for another man (your emperor / master) makes you automatically a beta male. Especially being willing to die for someone who doesn't give a crap about you.

  • @susanwolf3654
    @susanwolf3654 5 годин тому

    If l am nice and thoughtful and give them gifts and they don't reciprocate after few times l stop,relationships should be teo ways otherwise l don't care fir them and don't like to be taken for granted 😢😮

  • @jonathanknight8251
    @jonathanknight8251 5 годин тому

    I was taking photos of the sunset on Kyushu island in Japan when an obvious Japanese Yakuza dude approached me with a nasty scowl on on his face. I thought it was going to get ugly when he said something like “hey you” in a gruff, threatening voice. His next words were, “come over here. Tell me this isn’t a great angle for your next shot.”

  • @MarissaCarterArtist
    @MarissaCarterArtist 5 годин тому

    Never trust a guy that meets you anywhere rather sign a nda and prenup to prove this alleged location dating is dead not liable if you get shanked up during attempts at theory

  • @AmandaMG6
    @AmandaMG6 5 годин тому

    Sex isn't a possibility on the first date. Be realistic. Thats a hookup... or an "out call." And we know this trick. Sounds like you should stick to escorts. It's more honest

  • @johnnysilverhand1733
    @johnnysilverhand1733 5 годин тому

    Ah, women want commitment, security and resources? And men want sex? But women also want sex, just as much in fact. And when they give sex they also receive it. So what exactly do they bring to the table? I'd like to say children, but they can't have children without men, even if they give birth. I actually kind of really don't need these insane hos. 😂 Sure, I'll take a good woman. Who tf can you trust today, though?! More importantly, is it fair, or reasonable, or both, or neither, to expect from a woman to bring to the table as much as you do, as a man? It seems the answer is neither. And if men are not willing to accept these conditions as of late, it's hard to blame them. This is what's known as a market failure. Both could benefit, but neither do. We didn't have this problem for hundreds of thousands of years. But it's here now. I'm just not gonna settle. 🤷🏻‍♂️

  • @jhf1979
    @jhf1979 5 годин тому

    What do you mean by vicinity?

  • @dgraciasadios4893
    @dgraciasadios4893 5 годин тому

    You Tell'em Doc!

  • @galoha2515
    @galoha2515 5 годин тому

    Poor mentality . We are not on fire. Glad that there are adequate men around .

  • @GeorgeLista
    @GeorgeLista 5 годин тому

    Is he sponsored by single moms on Tinder? Kinda totally ignores what happens during the gap/absence, WE lose connection and interest. Men, if they don’t prioritise you, ghost them, don’t even bother being polite enough to explain how they are slacking. Set your standards, ignore this nonsense or you’ll end up with yet another average mediocre failure of a partnership likely to dissolve.

  • @TheRelentlessKnight
    @TheRelentlessKnight 5 годин тому

    Men rarely get complements even from men.

  • @raw5889
    @raw5889 5 годин тому

    If she wants you d she’ll make it happen

  • @jasminpilipovic4570
    @jasminpilipovic4570 5 годин тому

    Literally what happen to me. I got a 6 pack, new career and way more money. She got insecure and accused me of changing when it was. She felt unsafe lol ended a marriage with her with 2 sons. Honestly I have no desire to have woman this close to me. And I’m never gonna let anyone have that much power to destroy my life. Just because of how she feels. Kuz feelings are reality. I’m 33 and can bounce back. But it’s completely garbage, women are just delusional and that’s the scary part

  • @lvrn124
    @lvrn124 6 годин тому

    We need your take on men's loyalty!

  • @vladsciencedrums
    @vladsciencedrums 6 годин тому

    This is a great talk. I am getting thru a breakup and this makes so much sense. Thank you for letting me reflect on my actions. I will be better from now on.

  • @oe2898
    @oe2898 6 годин тому

    isnt it reasonable to go to hotel? is it not reasonable. She may not be comfortable having you know where she lives this early in relationship? Aslo not unreasonable to be leary of going to your (mans) place?

  • @Chris_Craft777
    @Chris_Craft777 6 годин тому

    Past 21 they aren't worth a dime...

  • @ryanoboyle1772
    @ryanoboyle1772 6 годин тому

    Samurai are so cool

  • @nwjh1957
    @nwjh1957 6 годин тому

    Read Ray Parkin's book "The Sword and the Blossom." It deals with very contradictory characteristics in the Japanese mind, and is from the real-life experiences of a group of POWs after surviving the Burma Railway and then getting shipped to Japan to work in a coal mine until the end of the war.

  • @CarlosArizona
    @CarlosArizona 6 годин тому

    And the greatest way to stir hatred is by letting poor whites know ... Poor White is The New Black. Only as strong as the weakest link. Racial inequity eventually caused thd erosion of the middle class. Now what use to be the struggles of black people are the same white struggles - Affordable housing, lack of health care, food insecurity and no where jobs and exploitation. Rising homelessness. And of course, The Rich get richer, the poor get poorer and the middle class get less classier.

  • @17cmmittlererminenwerfer81
    @17cmmittlererminenwerfer81 6 годин тому

    So that's where the expression "don't be crass" comes from. I hope Crassus enjoyed his profits. They haven't done much to relieve his suffering in Hell these past two millennia.

  • @BxBL85
    @BxBL85 6 годин тому

    The true first sign is that you will care little about these kinds of topics, to begin with..

  • @G0ddess_Kate
    @G0ddess_Kate 6 годин тому

    Casa Bonita 😂 worth it thooo

  • @leehurwit3827
    @leehurwit3827 6 годин тому

    The premise is valid to a point. My experience is that both genders are looking for someone they can relate to… that they connect with. Sex follows when there’s a nourishing, mature, human understanding. All this talk is not as relevant when there’s a connection. I think what’s important is for people to have the inner security and personality skills to know how to relate. Another thing: I think what we all really want is NOURISHMENT. We have many short term relationships, so we need to know how to enjoy the nourishment of being with each other. Unfortunately, there really are toxic and emotionally undeveloped people out there who skew the conversation. Date, Enjoy, and consider what a long term relationship would be. With God’s blessing you will find your love.

  • @RutagiMund
    @RutagiMund 6 годин тому

    Well a private accessible location can be a hotel. So meeting someone halfway in the means of both parties agreeing on a suitable location for a date within a reasonable traveling distance; there can still be a initiation for a sexual relationship. Starting out though, grabbing drinks together should be a nice barometer for how the other person preceives you and can also tell you if they find you a suitable sexual partner. Anyone correct me if I'm missing the point or have a better alternative.

  • @dolittle6781
    @dolittle6781 6 годин тому

    Nothing on the morality of sex outside of marriage. When you engage in that you are morally bankrupt and will receive all the negative consequences that are built into your actions. Dating for sex is like playing with fire; you will get burned-emotionally and financially especially for guys. What you are really learning on this channel is how to win big at a casino and we all know casinos aren’t setup for that to happen.

  • @BG-nl3hy
    @BG-nl3hy 7 годин тому

    Think this is your interpretation of the samurai.... which is positive but think you're appreciating the duality in it like everyone should appreciate the duality in themselves... but many archetypes carry a duality... people are complex multi faceted

  • @MrHDProd
    @MrHDProd 7 годин тому

    Woman only love Chad and Tyrone . Just get over it already…

  • @Khan-rz8qi
    @Khan-rz8qi 7 годин тому

    A lot of ladies will hear “sexual possibilities” as being essential to the date and feel triggered. Many of them don’t realize those are the only circumstances they themselves find acceptable for men to initiate any form of sexuality with them. There’s legit no other ways the average men can sexually approach women that would be considered socially acceptable. Women don’t want to feel like they’re going on dates to give it up, but besides the men you break the rules for, how else do you give up?

    • @cl4709
      @cl4709 6 годин тому

      But that’s by design, if they can convince men or play men into just giving them the resources, spending money on them without ever having to get into a sexual situation unless THEY decide to, they will do it. What I’m saying is it’s on purpose, women aren’t playing dumb or getting offended and if you think they are you’re falling for it.

  • @MDH7247
    @MDH7247 7 годин тому

    To be a man in the modern world is an incredibly difficult dance. Most will try, few will succeed. For in a world where strength and honor mean nothing, the old ways wither. Being gentle and hard is one of the most difficult tasks a human could attempt.

  • @danielyee517
    @danielyee517 7 годин тому

    Wow this is profound! Men, let's protect that part of ourselves even if it's hard

  • @spiderman-ej5hr
    @spiderman-ej5hr 7 годин тому

    Haha, I couldn't help lauhging at; when people are unfriendly they give you constructive feedback.

  • @jamesdoyle2769
    @jamesdoyle2769 7 годин тому

    That sensitivity to beauty was central to the samurai worldview and dignity. Cherry blossoms especially, but beauty in general, were seen as a way to acknowledge impermanence, and since a matter of fact attuitude towards death was about the only way they could stay sane, it was important. Something else about samurai culture was that samuria looked down on romantic attachments to women. They didn't look to women for validation of their manhood. Of course they married as a matter of family duty but romance with women was the province of merchants rich enough to afford to patronize courtesans and simialr people - so it was utterly degrading to a samurai. Their closest and deepest emotional relationships were with other men, and this is not uncommon in most cultures.

  • @j00loves00rock
    @j00loves00rock 7 годин тому

    Thanks!

  • @Elevenanne-px4xf
    @Elevenanne-px4xf 7 годин тому

    2024👍👍👍🎧🎧🎧☀️☀️☀️🌅🌅🌅🩱🩱🩱👙👙👙🥵🥵🥵🏖️🏖️🏖️🍉🍉🍉

  • @Elevenanne-px4xf
    @Elevenanne-px4xf 7 годин тому

    2024👍👍👍🎧🎧🎧☀️☀️☀️🌅🌅🌅🩱🩱🩱👙👙👙🥵🥵🥵🏖️🏖️🏖️🍉🍉🍉

  • @greg6811
    @greg6811 7 годин тому

    Orion could dismantle any modern feminists logic with pure ease 😂

  • @CaptainWillard830
    @CaptainWillard830 7 годин тому

    Father died when I was 11; I was perceived as a “sensitive” kid; skinny and awkward; healed myself; transformed by working out with weight summer after 8th grade…retired at rank of Lieutenant Colonel from the U.S. Marines. Afghanistan, Iraq veteran. Helped a lot of people when typhoons struck Philippines in 09 and 10. Crisscrossed mainland Japan when 9.0 earthquake struck, followed by tsunami and nuclear disaster at Fukushima. I’m hard, and soft, I’m extremely gritty/resilient, my heart is full. ❤

  • @toddubois3315
    @toddubois3315 8 годин тому

    All these ancient concepts are attractive because they've been marketed well not because they are exceptionally effective.

    • @jamesdoyle2769
      @jamesdoyle2769 6 годин тому

      They're effective for war. They are detrimental in a lot of civilian settings. For instance, honor is important in maintaining the personal relationships that make for unit cohesion, so it's really a matter of survival. In civilian life honor is often an disability.

  • @nerdsserverevengecolder..212
    @nerdsserverevengecolder..212 8 годин тому

    That was a great take

  • @zensvlognotapro
    @zensvlognotapro 8 годин тому

    Dating of man and woman is getting to know each other. In my family and friends I use also date meaning I want to have a bond with them eat out, meet up , shopping. Dating is not just for sexual opportunity.

  • @flydye45
    @flydye45 8 годин тому

    Well, the price from women is quite a loss of autonomy and potential career progress. And if, as they are stridently being taught, that pregnancy is either crippling or fatal, well, the 'benefit' of children is a tough sell. And frankly, with Daddy Government offering to subsidize their self produced kids, they get to keep that autonomy...they think. Their BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement) is they work their asses off in a career (also losing their autonomy) and 'live my best life': no compromises, their own investments, grrlfriends (sic) and freedom. By the time they get to the 'regret' stage, their house is burned to close to the foundations. They believe (with some validity) that men are a dime a dozen and are horny from 14-90...which is true. They aren't taught by their elders about 'the Invisible Time'. It is curious that you didn't discuss what the men lose by waiting. Frankly, quiet a few life skills and time. Running after a 4 year old at 55 can't be something that is optimum.

  • @chrisblack3952
    @chrisblack3952 8 годин тому

    Once you start dating women who get this it’s impossible to date women who have an unrealistic value of their worth. The women I’m talking about 40+ with two kids and a laundry list of everything the guy must provide.

  • @dls95405
    @dls95405 8 годин тому

    Brilliant analogy. I hope you have good security, I can imagine the steam coming out of many women's ears listening to this.